Mama Feelings & First Heartbreaks
Updated: Jul 3, 2025
Mothering and Maris June 20, 2015
This blog is all mama feelings tonight. A post about motherhood, by a mother, in the thick of it.
Being a mother is the hardest and most rewarding job in the world. I’m the proud mama of three beautiful blessings: Marisa (18), Jay (10), and Miley (8).
Each one of them has taught me something unique, and yet… even after all these years, I sometimes still feel like a rookie.
Motherhood doesn’t come with a manual. Just a whole lot of trial, error, and endless love.
Today I’m especially emotional because Marisa is now officially an adult. She can vote. Sign contracts. Make her own big-girl decisions. And while that should make me feel like a seasoned veteran at this motherhood thing, instead it feels like I just gave birth to her all over again. All the love, fear, excitement… it’s back.
Marisa has always been selective with her heart. She’s not the type to collect a crowd. She cultivates deep friendships true, rooted, soulful ones and doesn't waste time with weeds.
As a child, I didn’t always understand that. I was more outgoing and made friends easily. But I remembered something her pediatrician once told me: "She’s selective for a reason. She will no doubt have lifelong, fulfilling relationships." And it’s true. When Marisa loves you she means it. For as long as you let her.
But here's the tough part… People with hearts as patient and understanding as Marisa’s often struggle to see when someone becomes poison.
They hold on longer than they should. And the longer you hold onto the wrong person, the less time you leave for the right one.
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Marisa recently ended her first big love the kind that lasted years and felt like family.
Breakups hurt. Especially the first real one. Especially when the love was honest, real, and deeply felt. Everyone has to find themselves in their own way.
Sometimes that means leaving everything familiar behind. Self-discovery can change a person in ways no one expects. And for those left behind, it can feel like being lost, confused, angry… or replaced. But let me say this to you, my daughter: You are not a replacement. You are irreplaceable. The love you gave was real. It came from you—and that’s what made it beautiful. That can’t be duplicated. Not now, not ever.
Letting go is something we all have to do, in our own way, in our own time. Right now, I know what hurts most is missing him. The memories, the dreams, the inside jokes. You’re holding on to what once was because what once was felt so good.
But being real? I’ve seen you without the love and support you deserve for too long. And I can’t wait for the day when you wake up and no longer miss him. The day when you feel ready really ready for the kind of love that’s waiting for you. The kind of love that feels like home, like laughter, like a best friend and a partner wrapped in one. A love where there is no separation. Where they don’t just fit into your life they want to. Because love like that? It exists. And it’s worth waiting for.
You deserve someone who sees all of you and never flinches. Someone who makes time for you because you’re worth their time. Someone who respects you, consistently. Not just when it’s convenient. You’ve cried. You’ve hurt. I’ve watched it all. And as a mother, that is the hardest part. There are lessons in this life that only time and experience can teach. And as mothers, we’re just passengers on your rollercoaster holding your hand, screaming on the dips, and praying during the loops. I see you losing pieces of your spirit sometimes. And though I want to fix it, I know I can’t. Only you can. But I’ll never stop cheering you on. I’ll never stop reminding you: You are worthy. You are whole. You are light.
Life throws us loops, stops, and unexpected reroutes. It can make us salty. Guarded. Suspicious of trust. But when you feel that doubt creeping in, remember: You ARE trust. You ARE loyalty. You are proof it exists. And though I can’t take the pain from you, please know I feel it with you. You are never, ever alone.
From Mama, with Magnificent Wisdom: Never let anyone take your faith, your strength, or your soul. If there’s a lesson, let it turn into something beautiful. Surround yourself with people who fuel your light not drain it. You deserve love that feels consistent, respectful, and safe. Don’t settle for someone who only makes time for you some of the time.
Ask God for what you want. Thank Him for what you have. Trust Him for what’s coming. Your future is waiting. It’s up to you now.
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