Singing a Song...and Finding Myself Again

🎵 Singing a Song... and Finding Myself Again Originally written June 11, 2016

She was disappearing… a little more each day.

And strangely, it felt okay.

Most of what she used to feel hadn’t always been right especially after what she’d been told… and what she knew in her heart to be true.

Right now, everything feels foreign.

I pray to get lost.

I need a blessing of peace. 🙏

It’s been a long year of denying what others tried to tell me.

I just want to take off and never be found to go somewhere where there’s no fear, and where people’s words actually mean something.

It’s rare to find that place or that person that gives you the feeling of home.

You know the one: where you're safe, loved, and don’t have to explain a thing.

I think, most of my life, I’ve just wanted to be around people who felt like home.

I don’t remember every detail of where I lived or what I was doing during all the “important” childhood moments. I just know I often felt like luggage constantly being moved around, desperately searching for my spot.

And in some homes, we were always on the move.

Sometimes, my things wouldn’t even make it to the new place. So I learned:

💼 Take your stuff with you. Hold it close. Never leave it behind.

I became this beautiful little vagabond, packing everything I cherished. Not out of drama, but out of survival.

I remember my Grandma Darling feeling embarrassed for me watching me carry bags from one home to the next, even bringing them to school.

She’d say, “You don’t have to take them with you, Darling. I’ll pick them up and take them for you.”

But I needed them with me. I needed to know my stuff was safe.

Despite everything, I was a bright, funny, and assertive little girl with a huge smile even when I didn’t feel smiley inside. By eight, I was independent, determined, and already had my way.

And let’s be real very few people do things the Michele way. 😏

Life brings changes some subtle, some drastic.

People appear, disappear, reappear...

And in the midst of it all, we change too.

Sometimes we disappear for a while~

we lose ourselves in the chaos, the heartbreak, the health scares, the betrayals.

And then, one day… we find our song again.

We reappear. Different. Wiser. Stronger.

But we’re never quite the same person that vanished.

We become what we believe.

And sometimes, we want the old version of us gone. No reminders. No postcards. Just gone.

But then… there’s that little part of us that remembers being carefree, trusting, and innocent. And we grieve her, even though we know she can never fully come back because now we live in a world filled with both truth and lies.

No matter how beautiful, peaceful, or loving our souls may be, this world is full of contradictions.

💔 Jealousy.

😡 Stress.

😞 Hate.

We learn young that the green-eyed monster exists and sadly, sometimes it moves into our homes, classrooms, and workplaces.

By 3rd grade, kids are already feeling the weight of broken friendships. That pain follows them into middle school, high school, and eventually into adulthood, where the same drama just wears fancier clothes.

Grown adults acting like hurt kids.

People too broken to care whether they’re disrupting others’ healing.

People who thrive on control, projection, or sabotage.

And when you add in health issues?

Whew. It’s the perfect recipe for a full-on breakdown.

I’ve been there.

Today I’m blogging to tell you:

🗣️ You are not alone.

You’re not cursed. You’re not weak. You’re not broken.

But it’s time to let go of the lies and grab hold of your truth. 💥

No matter how heavy your struggle feels I promise, I’ve carried that weight too.

God has placed people in your life for a reason. Some to love, some to teach, some to test.

Accept them as they are. If someone wants to change you, let them go they were a gift of a lesson, not a permanent fixture.

Don’t let your vision of their “potential” become the weapon that destroys your bond.

We don’t control other people. We weren’t meant to.

Jesus gave us the gift of free will so we all have the power to rise.

We try so hard to make everyone proud, but here’s the truth:

Even those who love us deeply can’t write our story.

Their plan is not always our plan.

⏳ Time is precious.

But that doesn’t mean we’re on some rigid timeline.

Dreams don’t expire. If you want something go get it.

It’s not too late.

Birds of a feather flock together.

So surround yourself with the ones who let you fly as you—not clip your wings.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eedeXTWZUn8

I’m done ignoring my heart.

I won’t do it again.

I let it slide the last time I was seeking, but not this time.

I. Deserve. The. Truth. 💫

And remember... your most cherished possession?

Your shield of faith.

The Shield of God. 🛡️💖