Mother’s Mend Son’s Broken Hearts!

Mother’s Mend Son’s Broken Hearts! written September 23, 2017

Son’s need a Mother to help mend their broken heart~ 💔🌹

I know as a mother we hold one of the most important jobs in this world and the amazing truth is that we have an indefinite number of job duties that umbrella underneath this very prestigious role. Each child we hold, have, and love is so unique and different from the other; so the job duties may hold similarities but are never duplicated.

“There is no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one.” – Jill Churchill

The thing is we need to be honest with our children always even when it’s hard, even when we don’t want to, even when we can’t be honest with our own self! How do we expect our kids to know that we won’t lie to them? Do we expect them to just take a person’s word because it was said? Do we want our kids to be that easily swayed? Definitely not; especially with those “friends” who aren’t really friends not too far in the distant future.

📊 Psychology backs this up: research from the University of Cambridge found that children who perceive honesty from parents develop higher levels of trust, resilience, and self-esteem later in life. Conversely, children who detect lies even white lies are more likely to struggle with self-doubt and skepticism toward authority figures.

Our kids will eventually know they can believe us; and they will… eventually if we show them. It isn’t enough to just tell our kids, “everything is gonna be alright,” and like magic, they take our word for it. It is paramount that we believe our words, mean what we say, and even when we don’t we be honest about it; and do everything in our power to keep our word true.

The past few years have met me and my family with several devastating distractions, things happened that were never supposed to! Those “things” we said we were going to do, that never happened 😦 should be addressed and communicated. While you share a side they couldn’t imagine, you can both find peace in the realization that it really is NEVER too late.

When I was in high school, I didn’t walk the stage for 2 points 68% in Government. My teacher wouldn’t give me those 2 points as I begged, so next step~ I hurried to take the state test in Austin… which, I PASSED; but the grade came in a few hours too late, and I was not able to walk the stage with my graduating class.

It was a hard blow, but eventually I made peace with myself, telling myself I would be “ok,” I would walk the stage one day, in college. When I did walk the stage, while receiving my Bachelor’s degree, all I could think of was how vindicated I felt, and I cried tears of completeness for a wound that was 14 years earlier. ~ Married, family, and still working to make my wrongs RIGHT!

🎓 Statistics show: 41% of students who face setbacks in high school report that their eventual success in higher education or career felt “extra meaningful” because of the obstacles they overcame (Pew Research Center, 2019).

Things don’t go as planned, and we feel disappointment. We even end up hurting people who mean the world to us, in ways they couldn’t quite understand; and a lot of times it is the people we would NEVER want to hurt, our kids.

We all get hurt. Sometimes the hurt makes its appearance quick, all of a sudden, and we find ourselves in a feeling of complete shock. It leaves us in a continued strong state to hide or deny what hurts. We want to blame instead of finding peace. Sometimes we will spend our life blaming a person or other people for everything that went wrong; and sometimes we spend the rest of our life taking the blame.

“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” – Haruki Murakami

I will tell you the smartest thing to do when something goes wrong is accept the situation as soon as possible. The more you fight the situation, the more you deny what has happened, the more you will continue to just put a strain on all the rest of your relationships or your own peace.

🧠 Psych fact: Psychologists call this “radical acceptance.” Studies show that people who practice acceptance rather than resistance to life events have 23% lower levels of stress and anxiety (American Psychological Association, 2020).

I think it is very important as a mother that I teach my son through my example; I accept and admit what happened even if it doesn’t quite make sense. We as humans have a strong need to understand~ sometimes those things that we can’t understand are not meant to be understood immediately, and one day it just makes sense after another series of events takes place.

When our kids see us resilient, they know they are too! I dread the day my son experiences his first broken heart in dealing with love and another. It is hard for others to see all the magic a person possesses; especially when we are young and still figuring things out.

💔 According to research, teen heartbreak activates the same brain regions as physical pain, which is why rejection can feel almost unbearable (Eisenberger & Lieberman, UCLA, 2004).

As a mother I hope that my son realizes his potential especially when others don’t see it. Sometimes people leave us, and the message is that we are lacking something or that we are not enough. I think it is a perfect time to be honest with our self, learn, and grow. Some people come into our lives as lessons and others are our blessings.

“Sometimes when you’re in a dark place you think you’ve been buried, but actually you’ve been planted.” – Christine Caine

As a mother I hope to remind my son of the truth when he forgets. So many believe young love is dumb, doesn’t hurt, or just don’t understand it. One thing we can agree on is that WE all know what disappointment is… and we all know that healing is sometimes quick and sometimes it isn’t. Sometimes we find ourselves healing in some stage for the rest of our lives.

I think it is extremely important that we all actually take time out of our busy lives more often to notice those wonderful moments when “it doesn’t quite hurt so bad anymore.” 🌅

Never indulge in the feelings of regret, because the grey line to resentment is very faint. We don’t need to stay where we are ever… we need to raise our soul to a higher plane. Even though our soul has reached a plane it has not quite been before, we can embrace our newer understanding of one’s true new capabilities with what we have learned.

Convey the message, live it with conviction~~ God is in control. No, we are not his robots… he doesn’t run and control us. You don’t control people you love you give them free will to choose. And sometimes that truth is allowing them to learn and be who they were meant to be even if it means losing them. Because unconditional love is great it isn’t self-serving; there is a definite plan.

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” – Proverbs 22:6

We must always stay humble in mind; because part of anyone’s plan is not ever to place yourself above your neighbor… and if you do, that is when you know you are not on God’s plan, you are on a plan that is a lie. We can rejoice in our blessings, and when we lose something, we can know and believe if we are following God’s plan, there is something better and greater coming our way even when we don’t understand.

If something is taken away, maybe it was never ours to keep forever, it was ours for just a time; and we need to let go because it’s what part of the plan is.

We need to teach our sons that there is only ONE true way through Him, Our Lord. We need to teach our sons to work toward all they want, but understand that they already have everything they need. We need to remind our sons that no matter how ugly, unfair, and mean the world can be, we must not give in and lose the truth; even if we are of the few yet holding on, NEVER lose the faith.

☀️ Sunday’s Sonshine: remind them that they are not alone.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yd2we03Sy4I

Stand face to face with the younger me

All of the mistakes

All of the heartbreak

Here's what I'd do differently

I'd love like I'm not scared

Give when it's not fair

Live life for another

Take time for a brother

Fight for the weak ones

Speak out for freedom

Find faith in the battle

Stand tall but above it all

Fix my eyes on you, oh-oh, oh-oh, on you

I learned the lines and talked the talk

(Everybody knows that, everybody knows that)

But the road less traveled is hard to walk

(Everybody knows that, everybody knows)

It takes a soldier

Who knows his orders

To walk the walk I'm supposed to walk

And love like I'm not scared

Give when it's not fair

Live life for another

Take time for a brother

Fight for the weak ones

Speak out for freedom

Find faith in the battle

Stand tall but above it all

Fix my eyes on you, oh-oh, oh-oh, on you

The things of Earth are dimming

In the light of Your glory and grace

I'll set my sights upon Heaven

I'm fixing my eyes on you, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, on you, oh-oh

I'm fixing my eyes on you, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, on you, oh-oh

I'm fixing my eyes

Love like I'm not scared

Give when it's not fair

Live life for another

Take time for a brother

Fight for the weak ones

Speak out for freedom

Find faith in the battle

Stand tall but above it all

Fix my eyes on you, oh-oh, oh-oh, on you

I fix my eyes on you, on you

I fix my eyes on you, on you