🖤 It is such a struggle 🖤 originally written February 4, 2017 Such a strange illusion when a darkened porch actually contains a bright...

Fantasies fade. They always do. The shine dulls, the faults surface, and you're left with the real. The bitter. The breathless. The broken. But I am not your fear. I am not the mistake you rehearse when you're looking for someone to blame. I am the one who chose to change.

Expression isn’t always pretty. It’s messy, emotional, raw, and beautifully unpredictable. It’s not about being understood sometimes, it’s just about setting something free. 🕊️ And in that release, even if no one gets it… I do. And that’s enough.

Halloween felt a little different this year quieter, more emotional, but still full of magic. As I navigate my feelings, my faith, and my kidney stone (yes, still), I’m reminded that love, laughter, and family are what matter most.

I’ve been broken, lied to, and left behind but I am not a label. I am not my past. Today, I stop blaming, start healing, and reclaim every ounce of the power God placed inside me.

Sometimes I drift away days, weeks at a time lost in feelings and memories. But I always come back… brighter, fuller, and glowing from a soul that’s been transformed. The light frightens some, but it frees me.

Inspired by a deeply symbolic piece of art, this reflection explores strength, transformation, spiritual growth, and the power of loving without limits. Like a tree with strong roots, we bend but we do not break.

A poetic reflection on a love that never fully arrived but never fully left either. It’s about what was, what wasn’t, and the aching beauty of holding on even while letting go.