The Beauty in Simplicity and the War in My Mind
- Michele Renee
- Jul 25, 2025
- 4 min read
✨ Simple Thoughts: Finding My Soul Again OG written : 📅 November 5, 2016
My Inner Essence ~ where are you? I am calling for you now.
I’m aching to return to delight. To simplicity. 🌸
To remember how beautiful the small things are:
– The scent of flowers
– The colors in nature
– A hug that comforts
– A kiss that feels sacred
– Real companionship the kind that shares life, not just space
The world is beautiful. God’s art is everywhere and I want to see it again, like I used to. Before all the heaviness. Before all the noise.
Can I unlearn the things I’ve been conditioned to believe?
Can I stop chasing material comfort and find peace inside instead?
Yes. I’m more ready now than I’ve ever been.
I’m wiser. I’m willing. I’m in charge of the narrative in my mind. And it’s time for a rewrite.
I want to find Michele again.
I’ve walked through trauma, loss, and deeply spiritual awakenings. Those moments gave my life new meaning, new power. And now I feel the shift pulling at me again.
But still I ask:
Why do I trick myself? Why do I overthink, worry, build walls?
I’ve learned that evil plays a different game entirely and I’ve been trying to fight it with the wrong weapons.
So how do I win? HOW?
Life has scarred me. Honestly? Sometimes I feel insane. And I don’t believe I’m alone in that. I think most of us are mentally fractured, wearing masks just to survive.
I love the Lord deeply… yet I still sometimes choose the very things He wouldn’t. Why?
Because it’s easier to stay busy. To avoid. To push forward instead of sitting still. No matter how much I accomplish, no matter how many people I help, I still catch myself thinking I'm not enough.
Even when I’m in awe of the stars or overwhelmed by beauty, I still see the ugliness of this world. The cruelty. The greed. The pain. And I wonder: Are we ever really okay?
"You must go on. I can’t go on. I’ll go on." — Samuel Beckett
All our intelligence and knowledge… yet we remain tangled in the madness our own minds create.
So again I ask:
Why do I fight?
Am I greedy? Do I crave power? Do I want to hold others down?
HELL NO. That’s not who I am.
And yet… pain bleeds onto others when we ourselves are still bleeding.
I never set out to hurt anyone. I don’t want to suffer, and I certainly don’t want others to suffer either.
But I look around at this world driven by greed, division, and ignorance and I ache. I grieve for what we’ve become.
That’s why I can’t watch the news anymore. It hurts too much to witness what humans are doing to each other. We are destroying everything… each other… and ourselves.
We’ve become paranoid, afraid of every soul around us. We don’t trust anyone. And it’s heartbreaking how fear rewires our brains. 😞
And what happens when we bring that fear into our close relationships? It manifests. It poisons the very love we crave.
“Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living in better conditions.” – Hafiz
When we’re full of fear, we interpret everything through a false lens. Our actions become misguided, based on lies our pain tells us.
We want more more love, more safety but fear keeps us locked out.
We’re told to “let go of fear,” but how? We try to be good. We try to be better. But we can’t fake goodness if it doesn’t live in us yet.
So maybe… we just have to start by looking for the good. In ourselves. In others. In the quiet moments.
Because what we seek… is what will emerge. 🌱
The external world won’t shift until the internal one does.
And when I fall in love with the idea of changing my mind, I start to see that it’s leading me toward my salvation. ✨
“Recognizing your own insanity is the beginning of sanity.” –Eckhart Tolle
We heal the moment we stop pretending we’re not broken. The moment we ask:
Am I living the life I truly want? Or am I the one creating my own suffering?
One thing is clear: anything that divides or disconnects that isn’t the way.
Even in religion, when it divides, we’ve gone off track. God is love. And love unites. Love connects.
🔔 HINT:
“The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind.” – Caroline Myss
The Journey Back to Self
Card: The Hermit (Upright) 🔦
Element: Earth 🌍
Keywords: Soul-searching, solitude, inner truth, healing light
Message: The Hermit walks alone not to hide, but to seek. You are being called inward to rediscover your voice, your essence, your soul’s truth. This period of reflection is sacred. You are not lost you are being guided.
“You are the light you’ve been waiting for.”
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