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Scars That Still Speak: A Letter to My Younger Self & 🔮 Tarot Tap for Tuesday, July 29, 2025

Updated: Jul 29, 2025


“A Letter That Reopened the Quiet Wounds”


Sometimes, something as simple as a letter from the past can echo louder than a scream.


While migrating content from my old website, I stumbled across one of those echoes a letter that hit me harder than I expected.


It brought back memories I thought I had folded away for good a younger version of me, trying to be everything all at once.


A full-time mother, a full-time student, a full-time dreamer with part-time sleep and barely there grace for herself. I remember working late nights, attending early classes, and handing off my babies to the arms of the only woman I trusted with my whole heart: my grandmother.



I did what I had to do…

For them. For our future.

But that doesn’t mean I didn’t carry guilt like a second skin.


🩵 “To every mama who’s ever felt like she gave everything and still wonders if it was enough this is for you.”


This letter reminded me of the silence I swallowed of how many times I told myself "just push through," even when I was breaking inside. And maybe most painfully, it reminded me of how many times I silenced myself in the name of motherhood. My needs. My dreams. My voice.


There are so many reasons why we end up parenting alone.

Sometimes it’s by choice. Sometimes by circumstance.

But either way, the weight is the same and the ache can be invisible to those who’ve never carried it.


If there’s anything I want my children to take from my story, it’s this:

Don’t ever silence who you are inside.

Not for anyone. Not even for love. Not even for family.

Because love real love makes space for you and your dreams. It doesn’t ask you to disappear in order to belong.


This is a piece of my truth.

A scar that never fully closed.

And a whisper to every parent, every daughter, every child still trying to forgive themselves for simply doing their best.

So many of us grew up missing something… some of us thought it was the missed birthdays, the forgotten games, the no-shows at school plays. We blamed the job. We blamed the clock. We blamed the distance.


But the older we get, the clearer it becomes:

It was never the absence that hurt the most…

It was the presence that was missing even when they were home.


🕰️ Some parents work long hours, miss bedtime more nights than they’d like, and carry the weight of the world on their backs so that their child can have what they never did. That’s a kind of love that doesn’t always get applause, because it doesn’t come with balloons or big gestures it comes with sacrifice.


And then there are people who are always around.

Always home. Always showing up…

…but not really there. Staring at screens, and possibly living inebriated.


👉🏽 Being physically present isn’t the same as being emotionally connected, dependable, supportive, or selfless.

👉🏽 And being gone to work doesn’t mean you’re neglectful it might mean you're invested in the long game of security, stability, and strength.


It’s not the quantity of your presence that matters most it’s the quality of your character while you're in it.


Being a parent isn’t just about holding a baby it’s about holding space for your family to grow. It’s not about sitting at the table every night it’s about helping put the food on it. It’s about showing up when it’s hard. Staying committed when it’s not convenient. And putting your ego in your back pocket because your child comes first.


📉 Taking off work every time life gets uncomfortable might seem like love…

But what our kids really need to see is that we push through storms not run from them.


Some people show love by hugs and high-fives. Others? They show love through sweat and sacrifice. Don't mistake the quiet kind of love for any less of a love.


To the parents working doubles, to the ones commuting 40 minutes just to pay for diapers, to the ones who miss the recital but make it home for bedtime kisses you are seen. You are doing the most. And your love is loud, even when your body isn't in the room.


And to the kids who are now adults:

If you ever felt unseen growing up…

Ask yourself: was it because they weren't there?

Or was it because they never really saw you?


Sometimes, we get so busy trying to fix our past that we pass down our wounds wrapped as solutions. But our children need presence with purpose, not just a body in the room. They need to see what healthy provision looks like not just proximity.


🛑 Let’s stop glorifying “being there” without actually being dependable.

✅ Let’s start honoring the ones who stay in the race even when it’s uphill and raining.


Because love isn’t about showing up only when it’s easy it’s about being dependable when it’s not.


“Don’t confuse being around with being involved.”
“Being there isn’t enough being dependable is what builds trust.”
“Sacrifice isn’t always loud. Sometimes it looks like missed moments for paid bills.”
“Love that works hard is love that lasts.”
“Your presence means more when it’s earned by effort not just proximity.”
“Showing up when it rains takes more love than staying home when it shines.”

💞 Present

Two of Cups


This card opens like the first page of a love story, but what kind? A meeting of two souls. A shared heartbeat. A mirrored reflection. In this position, it symbolizes what looks like connection but is it built on mutual investment, or emotional illusion?


This is the moment where two people sit at the table, look each other in the eye, and say, “We’re in this together.” But the energy around the rest of this spread tells us: this connection may be lopsided. One cup is full. The other? Not so much. There is potential here for real unity but only if both parties bring more than just presence. They must bring purpose.


“Connection means little without commitment.”
“Love is not found. It is built, brick by brick.”
“Mutual effort is the currency of healthy relationships.”
“The right person will meet you where you are not expect you to carry them.”

🛡️ Conflict

Nine of Wands


Wounded warrior energy. This card is tired, yet still standing. It screams of burnout, of someone trying so hard to hold it all together, to protect what they’ve built even if it's breaking them.


Imagine a mama bear protecting her cub… and herself. But she’s tired of being the one patching holes in the wall, chasing stability, and explaining over and over what’s not okay. There’s resistance here. She's cautious. This card might be your spirit deep down holding the line, but starting to question how long you can keep it up alone.


“Resilience doesn’t mean you have to keep carrying what breaks you.”
“Strong people need rest too.”
“Love doesn’t mean tolerating disrespect.”
“If someone loves you, they’ll help you fight not be the reason you’re always in battle.”

The Nine of Wands is that battle-scarred, don't-mess-with-me energy the survivor who’s been through hell and still shows up with a bandage and a backbone. 💪🏼🩹🔥 This card is tired, guarded, and fiercely determined and your song for this energy should bleed resilience, strength, and fight-within-the-fatigue.


🌕 Past

The Moon (Reversed)


Ahhh… clarity is coming through the fog. What was once masked is now being exposed slowly, painfully. Reversed, this is emotional disillusionment, coming face-to-face with truths we’ve avoided.


A young girl remembers her father being home… but not really there. The light of the Moon shows what was always lurking: absence masked as presence. Now, as a mother, she’s walking through that same darkness, trying to rewrite a story she hasn’t fully healed from.


“The truth doesn’t stay hidden forever. Not even under moonlight.”
“Healing begins where illusions end.”
“Sometimes, we repeat the past trying to heal it but it only repeats the wound.”
“You can’t give your child what you never received but you can choose to grow something new.”

This card is all about illusions being shattered, truths coming to light, subconscious fears rising up, and emotional fog finally lifting. It’s raw, it’s revealing, and it’s that moment when you can’t unsee what you now know even if it hurts.

🪄 Root

The Magician (Reversed)


This is misalignment of power, manipulation, or untapped potential. When reversed, it often means someone could be doing more but isn’t. Intentions without follow-through.


You hand someone all the tools and they just let them rust. Charm? Check. Potential? Check. But is it actualized? No. The reversed Magician warns of someone who knows how to create… but doesn’t. Or worse, uses illusion to convince others they are doing more than they are.

“Talent without effort is wasted potential.”
“Don’t be fooled by tricks look for action.”
“True magic is commitment, not charm.”
“If he wanted to, he would.”

Let’s expose that trickster energy 🎭✨ because when The Magician is reversed, the vibes are off and the mask is slipping. This is the card of missed potential, false promises, manipulation, and wasted tools when someone has the power but refuses to use it (or worse, uses it to control others).


The Magician reversed can also represent self-doubt, imposter syndrome, or someone charming on the surface, but hollow behind the curtain. Think smoke and mirrors, baby. Think red flags with a pretty smile. 😏🔥



📘 Crown

Page of Pentacles


Fresh starts. Learning. Willingness. In the highest position, this suggests a hope or desire for someone to step up, grow, and take things seriously especially financially.


This is the dreamer, someone ready to learn, to commit, to invest in the future. But here, it feels more like a wish, not a reality yet. Maybe you still believe another could become this . But belief without action is just hope with no legs.


“You can want someone to grow, but they have to choose it.”
“The future belongs to the committed.”
“A boy with a plan becomes a man with a legacy.”
“Promise me action, not potential.”

Let’s talk about that studious, grounded, slow-but-steady energy of the Page of Pentacles 🪙📚🌱


This card is full of potential it's that new beginning when someone is finally ready to get serious about life, about love, about stability. The Page of Pentacles is the intern, the student, the apprentice of the material world. They’re dreaming, yes but also trying to build something real from it.


Whether it's about financial responsibility, long-term growth, or learning how to show up and stay consistent, this card represents the energy of trying. Even if it's awkward. Even if it's late. Even if it's not glamorous.


🌀 Near Future

Wheel of Fortune (Reversed)


Karma. Delays. Unpredictable patterns. Reversed, this wheel isn’t turning or it’s spinning the same direction over and over.


The same arguments. The same apologies. The same behavior. This card is a big red flag: something’s stuck. And until someone makes a real shift, nothing’s changing.


“If nothing changes, nothing changes.”
“You can’t manifest a new life with old patterns.”
“The wheel turns but not if you’re standing still.”
“Bad luck isn’t always fate. Sometimes, it’s a choice repeated.”

💀 You and Me

Death (Reversed)


Resisting necessary transformation. Something should’ve ended already or changed but it hasn’t.


This is denial. Refusing to let go. Someone is clinging to a relationship, habit, or ideal that needs to be released for anything better to bloom.


“Growth demands a goodbye.”
“Not changing is a slow death.”
“You can’t move forward with one foot in the grave.”
“Let go, or be dragged.”

The haunting, transformational but resistant energy of the Death Reversed card 💀🔁🌒


This card isn’t about literal endings it’s about transformation delayed, change resisted, and cycles refusing to close. It’s like the universe is banging on the door yelling, “Let it go!” and someone’s deadbolting it with fear, comfort, or denial.


🕯️ It’s not the peaceful release of the upright Death card it’s the tension of clinging, avoiding, and staying stuck when the soul is begging to be free.

This is the card of emotional clinging, fear of endings, avoiding transformation, and spiritually white-knuckling something that’s already meant to die. It’s grief, regret, hesitation… and the moment right before the breakthrough if only you’d let go.

📩 External

Eight of Wands (Reversed)


Delays, miscommunication, stalled momentum. Everything is moving in slow motion.


People on the outside are starting to wonder what’s really going on. Energy that once felt fast and fiery is now sluggish. Nothing’s taking off. Not the relationship. Not the goals.


“Even the wind stops when the truth is buried.”
“Delays aren’t always divine. Sometimes they’re signs.”
“Slow progress is one thing no movement is another.”
"Watch the patterns. Don’t just wait for change.”

This energy is sticky, delayed, blocked, frustrated, and S-L-O-W, like molasses trying to run uphill 😩⏳


Where the upright Eight of Wands is all about fast movement, progress, and momentum… reversed? Everything feels like it’s on pause. Ghosted messages, missed calls, emotional traffic jams, and no matter how hard you try, nothing's taking off.


So let’s match that vibe with an emotional, moody, waiting-too-long, can’t move-on song that fully embodies the frustration, anxiety, and spiritual “hurry up and wait” of this card.

💔 Hopes & Fears

King of Cups Reversed + Lovers Reversed


This is deeply wounded masculine energy and a relationship out of alignment. Emotional immaturity. Gaslighting. Disconnection. A mismatch in values.


You want a protector. A provider. A partner. But what you’re getting is emotional chaos. Someone who uses love as a performance instead of a partnership. These two together say: the relationship is not healthy. The masculine energy is not healed. And the love is not being nurtured the way it should be.


“Love isn’t control. It’s consistency.”
“Emotionally unavailable is not mysterious it’s damaging.”
“When love hurts more than it heals, it’s time to look closer.”
“Don’t confuse passion with partnership.”

💔🌀 That’s heavy emotional turmoil, relationship imbalance, and fear of commitment or betrayal all tied up in one messy knot of longing, love, and emotional chaos.


This combo is screaming:

💭 “I want love that’s deep, wise, and stable… but I’m afraid it’ll either drown me or destroy me.”

💭 “I crave partnership, but I keep getting confusion, manipulation, or disconnection.”

💭 “Is it love… or just attachment?”

🧊 The emotionally unavailable or manipulative partner (King of Cups reversed)


💔 Broken bonds, false twin flames, or hard choices in love (The Lovers reversed)


😞 The fear that love won’t be healthy, reciprocal, or real

🔚 Outcome

Ten of Swords (Reversed)

Rock bottom. But reversed? A tiny light at the end. The beginning of healing, if and only if the truth is faced.


You’ve bled. You’ve cried. You’ve sacrificed. You’re exhausted. This card is the promise that the worst is almost over but only if you let go of what's caused it. Stop trying to stitch up what’s already dead. This is the time for truth, not tolerance.


“The end is where we begin again.”
“Pain is a teacher if you’re ready to learn.”
“Healing starts with honesty.”
“You survived it. Now release it.”

The Ten of Swords Reversed is the slow resurrection card. It’s the aftershock of betrayal, the quiet sob after the scream, the moment the bleeding starts to scab over. This isn’t just pain it’s the painful healing that comes after the absolute rock bottom. It’s waking up the morning after the emotional wreckage and whispering, “I’m still here.”

🔢 Numerology + Colorology + Themes


Repetitive Reversals: 8 out of 10 cards reversed. 🚨 That’s major resistance to truth, growth, and transformation.


Major Arcana Heavy: Moon, Magician, Death, Lovers, Wheel, etc. This isn’t a small problem this is a soul lesson. 💥


Water energy (Cups, Moon, King): Emotion, illusion, trauma, emotional labor.


Pentacle presence: Tied to money, responsibility, adulting. He or She is not doing their part.


Color Dominance: Grays, blues, and deep purples representing blocked intuition, sadness, emotional confusion.


Shadow Work Theme: The cards scream that this is about repeating generational patterns unless someone chooses truth and healing over illusion and comfort.


We may not get to rewrite the past.

But we get to choose how much of it we carry forward.


This time, I’m choosing truth. I’m choosing softness. I’m choosing to show up not just for them, but for me too.


And maybe… that’s where real healing begins.

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