Riding the Wrong Train? How to Get off and Get Back to You

Today, Stop Waiting! originally written June 5, 2017

There may be a time or many times in your life when you allow the devil to take control, ride shotgun… Sometimes, you don’t even realize it. You don’t obviously choose him. Sometimes he or she slips in real slick, using circumstances and people you love.

We allow “something” to take control over our lives that we wouldn’t usually for a number of reasons. Maybe we feel lost and are looking for a way, a better way. Or maybe we feel like we have to because if we don’t, we’ll lose ourselves faster than we can even think.

Sometimes, fear keeps us still. We just let the chips fall where they may, and then one day, we look around and realize we’re riding someone else’s train and don’t know how to get off. Maybe you’ve had things done for you most of your life and never thought about how you’d handle them if you were in control. So you just hand the reins over… and suddenly your life is something you don’t even recognize.

The Psychology of Giving Away Your Power

Psychologists call this learned helplessness a state where people believe they have no control over their situation, even when opportunities to change it exist. First studied by Dr. Martin Seligman in the late 1960s, learned helplessness can lead to depression, anxiety, and hopelessness.

🔹 Statistic: According to the American Psychological Association (APA), individuals who feel powerless are 60% more likely to develop chronic stress-related illnesses over time.

🔹 Quote: “You either walk inside your story and own it, or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.” — Brené Brown

People you love end up let down and you feel worse. Have you let someone who means the world to you down, over and over again? Have you become something you’re not proud of? Or maybe life has always been hard, a whirlwind of hope splattered with disaster.

Sometimes we cling to fake “ups” because the illusion feels better than the reality of the down. Psychologically, this is linked to intermittent reinforcement the same mechanism that keeps gamblers pulling slot machine levers. A small win now and then tricks the brain into thinking real change is happening, even when it’s not.

Find You, Before You Lose You

Don’t wait another minute. Don’t let another lie cement itself into your life.

Ask yourself:

What makes me proud?

What makes me smile?

What makes me thrive?

God has given us a beautiful world skies we love to sunbathe under, waters we want to ride waves in, flowers to smell, trees to sway under, creatures to marvel at. We can enjoy the hottest spots in the most happening city… but at the end of the day, we are left with us.

And when your head hits the pillow at night, the question is: Are you enough?

“Do not wait; the time will never be ‘just right.’ Start where you stand.” — Napoleon Hill

I remember a time when I was enough. I was working at Child Protective Services and wrote a post about saving a family of eight and a dog. It was exhausting, heartbreaking work… but I felt like I was doing exactly what I was supposed to do. Every lesson I’d learned, every fall I’d taken, suddenly made sense. It gave me the tools to connect with another human being’s pain and help them want to change.

The Power of Purpose

Research from Dr. Viktor Frankl, Holocaust survivor and author of Man’s Search for Meaning, shows that having a sense of purpose is one of the strongest psychological predictors of resilience. People with a clear “why” are better equipped to handle life’s “how.”

That day at CPS, I felt my “why.” And it wasn’t about changing the world it was about changing one moment for one family. The feeling was an unexpected but deeply satisfying payback.

And to know that someone whether your child, a friend, or even a stranger is connected to you in such a powerful way that you both walk away changed… that’s priceless. At its core, that’s FAITH.

Faith, Trust, and Risk

Faith in relationships means risking trust:

Is this person for real?

Can I trust them?

Will they treat me how I deserve?

We hurt each other sometimes. We all do. But some of us choose to stick around, try again, and hope the hurt won’t repeat. That choice to hope and to work is what separates growth from stagnation.

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” — Martin Luther King Jr.

Don’t Take the Shortcut

Shortcuts might feel easier, but they rob you of the clarity that comes from the full journey. Psychological research on delayed gratification (famously from the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment) shows that those who can wait, work, and persevere tend to experience greater success and deeper satisfaction.

When you get to your destination, the view will be even clearer not because the road was smooth, but because you earned it.

HANG IN THERE!!!!!

Your future self is begging you not to give up.

“It’s never too late to be what you might have been.” — George Eliot

✨ Key Takeaways “Today, Stop Waiting!”

Recognize when you’ve given away your power. Fear, comfort, or past habits can quietly let someone else take the wheel of your life. (Learned helplessness is real and reversible.)

Purpose fuels resilience. Finding a meaningful “why” changes how you handle life’s “how.”

Faith is the foundation of connection. Trust is always a risk, but it’s the soil relationships grow in.

Stop chasing fake “ups.” Illusions of progress (intermittent wins) keep you stuck real growth is worth the discomfort.

Don’t take shortcuts. Delayed gratification leads to clearer vision and lasting satisfaction.

God’s gifts are constant reminders. Even when the day ends, the beauty of the world reminds us we’re meant for more.

Act now. There is no perfect time — there is only today.