Not a Love Story! RUN Away

Not a Love Story! RUN Away Originally written: July 9, 2015

Temptation is everywhere and in some form or another, we’re all guilty.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ogJBbW-I4I

Maybe you’ve cheated on your diet, your daily routine, your dreams… or yes, your partner. But what many fail to recognize is this: when we cheat, we’re not just betraying others we’re betraying ourselves. We are human. We make mistakes that’s how we learn. But the danger lies in repetition. That one weak moment? If unchecked, it becomes a behavior. Then a habit. And before long, it becomes who we are practicing to be. Every action is a choice.

"The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live."

There’s always that one defining moment, the moment you know it’s wrong, but you choose it anyway. Maybe it was a moment of intoxication, vulnerability, or weakness. But regardless of the state we’re in, we always know when we’re stepping into something that’s morally off. And when you continue to make that choice, it carves a groove into your life.

Now, I don't buy into the saying, "once a cheater, always a cheater." People can change. I’ve seen it, I’ve lived it. Change is possible when it’s born out of realization and genuine desire. We’re not robots we’re not locked into who we were. But we have to want it. Some of us get to that turning point the moment when we’re just done. Done being shallow. Done with the quick fixes. Done compromising who we are.

We want better. We want to be better. We want to look in the mirror and like what we see to know we’re living in alignment with our integrity.

We start retracing our steps trying to make sense of how things got so far off track. How both partners played a role. But at the end of the day, love doesn’t hurt. Love doesn’t bring anxiety and confusion. Love doesn’t require convincing.

Cheating, at its core, isn’t about love. It’s about instant gratification. It’s about needing to feel wanted, seen, desired even if it’s just for a fleeting moment. But if someone really loved you, they’d choose you. Not hide behind excuses. Not pop in when it’s convenient. Some people make a habit out of chasing what they can’t have married people, committed partners.

Why?

Because real intimacy terrifies them. They seek control, validation, or to win all, while denying the truth that they are protecting themselves from deeper emotional risk. If you’re reading this, you may be a cheater, a cheat-ee, or the one who’s been cheated on. Let this be your wake-up call. You and your partner deserve better.

The devil works through our vulnerabilities. He’ll tempt you. He’ll make wrong look appealing. But staying faithful? Choosing honesty? That’s the path of strength. That’s the path of peace. If your relationship feels boring or mundane, fix it. Stop whining that your wife/husband is boring you picked her/him. Take ownership. Create excitement. Show up. And if you can’t? Walk away with your integrity and your zipper still up/legs closed.

Yes, that charming new person might make you laugh. They might feel like a spark in the middle of your burnout. But if they lead with “I’m in a relationship, but...” — RUN. Don't be someone's backup plan. Manipulative people are skilled. It’s their art form. They say all the right things because they’ve had practice. But once infatuation fades and life gets real, guess what? They’ll be looking for their next shiny fix.

If someone lies and cheats to be with you, they will lie and cheat on you. Remember that. I’ve lived both sides. I despise cheating now because it’s a part of me I once allowed a part I had to heal. I cheated before I had a family, before I had clarity. I was young, lost, emotionally hollow. And someone came along offering all the words I was desperate to hear. I believed him. But I also knew the damage I caused. That relationship never recovered.

Even when I changed, even when I proved my loyalty, the damage lingered. The trust was gone. I spent years proving I was someone of integrity, not for him, but for myself. That fear and guilt stayed with me, a reminder that one choice can alter the course of a relationship forever. No one deserves to be reminded year after year of a past mistake they’ve genuinely grown from. But no one escapes the consequences either.

Cheating doesn’t just scar the one betrayed. It changes the one who betrays. We all get needy. We all have cravings for affection, connection, relief. But dishonesty is never the answer. Face the truth. Let go of denial. Recognize when you’re crossing the line. Instead of chasing temporary comfort, choose lasting peace. Stop answering the phone of someone who only calls when they need something. You deserve mutuality. You deserve consistency. You deserve real love.

Love is not fear.

Love is not betrayal. Love is not disappointment. Love is not anxiety. Love is good. Love is safe. Love is friendship on fire.

It’s so easy to forget that when you’ve been conditioned to accept crumbs.

When you’ve been convinced that the pain means something. But real love doesn’t starve you. Stop allowing someone to feed you lies and keep you stuck in a cycle of pain. Stop letting fear trick you into thinking it’s better to stay than to leap. That’s not love.

That’s trauma bonding.

When he disappears for days, weeks, months and you still welcome him back because you’re starving for affection that’s not love. That’s addiction. You have tried. You gave chances. You prayed. You showed up. You cried. You held on. But it’s time to let go. Let go before another year, another season, another summer slips through your fingers.

Yes this WAS me. I’ve been on both sides. #20YearsHoldingOnBecauseOfGuilt #FeelingStupid But no more.

Helpful Tips: Bond with people who share your values and integrity.

Don’t mistake secrecy for loyalty.

A real friend will challenge you to be better, not help you hide.

Pray. Ask God for clarity and strength when you feel weak.

This wasn’t a love story. It was a story of growth, of awakening. A story of choosing truth over fantasy, self-worth over self-destruction. A story of finally walking away. It’s not easy. It’s not fast. But it is possible. Love doesn’t leave you on read. Love doesn’t leave you in the dark. Love shows up. And so should you.