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Monsters We Invite In

Monsters we invite in… originally written May 21, 2017

Do you know someone who is trying to STOP something that isn’t good for them? Do you know someone who has a strong addiction? Are you allowing monsters in?

Let me tell you, I know it can be frustrating for those who love someone and have to be a part of this struggle; and I wish I could tell you there will be a happy ending, sometimes there is, and sometimes there isn’t! I wish I could tell you the end to successful 100% recovery won’t be that far away and just stay patient; I wish I could tell you; it will only be hard for a little while.



Recovery is different for everyone; there is no one single journey or path. Recovery is a work that will be forever; it isn’t just for a while; it isn’t just for a season; recovery is for life.


Sometimes you fall off, and you get back up and continue~


The truth is sometimes life seems miserable when they are finally making that daily decision to say, NO; again and again.


It seems like the ugly truth is finally out, it seems like NO-one understands; and even though everyone who loves this person tries so hard to understand~


It still seems like the war is against all and everyone around them who isn’t going through this struggle….



until one day; they realize the struggle is only with themselves.

Just remember, every single time you say, NO; you win once again; YOU WIN YOU back! You win YOU again!


It is the best decision, always to choose YOU. Finally facing the lies that were once covered up. When blinded, while the sun has been covered up; you were asleep. But you wake up, and learn you will not be put to sleep again, you will work, you will live, you will learn to, practicing by laughing in the shadows.


It is making a decision to instead think about all the people in our lives who matter to us and love us and say, YES to them. It is about choosing a better choice for us, so that we are not making decisions on a downward spiral to destroy all we are and all we have; even though everything seems better when high.


The sad truth is many of us are born or have inherited DEPRESSION, and living with depression isn’t easy; add in other mental disorders; or life’s experiences; there is so no wonder why so many try drugs; just to find a peace to survive. Trying something that gives you a feeling of happiness~ even if it isn’t real; or a feeling of energy that one before has never been able to obtain is a real reason why someone would choose it again and again.


So many times you want to say NO, and you do; maybe for a few days, maybe for many weeks, and then months’ and sometimes even years; but then you may slip and you find yourself back using. ~~this is the way it is! So many people think you really have to want to stop; yes that is true; but it takes so much more than that; it takes a strong network behind you. It takes a strong understanding of the war you have played with yourself; and the war you will continue to play; you will never be cured; don’t care how long you have abstained, and the quicker you understand that better.


Become your friend; you are right you are ALONE! No one can fight this but you, no one can understand the feeling the high you are addicted to give you. No one can understand the pain the high mask… you can begin to tell those you love; and if you love someone who is going through this, try to understand… but the truth is the ADDICT is alone is so many ways; and you not only have to learn to be ok with that; but you have to learn to appreciate this time; and work on your relationship with yourself.


Anyone who is not on this road with you; friends, have to be left behind! You can’t keep these people around because their mind set is where yours does NOT need to be; it doesn’t mean you think you are better than them, it doesn’t mean you aren’t a good friend, or you are leaving them behind it just means you are closing this chapter of the book for now.


Please Share !


“For though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again.” — Proverbs 24:16 🙌
“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind… He will also provide a way out.” — 1 Corinthians 10:13 🛤️
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18 💔➡️💗
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” — Romans 12:2 🧠✨
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” — Galatians 6:2 🤝
“Whom the Son sets free is free indeed.” — John 8:36 🔓

🧠 Psychology & Recovery Facts (brief + compassionate)


Recovery is a process, not an event. NIDA notes that relapse rates for substance use disorders are roughly 40–60%, similar to other chronic illnesses like hypertension or diabetes. A slip doesn’t equal failure it signals that supports or strategies need tuning.


Stages of Change (Prochaska & DiClemente): People move through precontemplation → contemplation → preparation → action → maintenance, often cycling more than once. Each stage needs different support.


HALT triggers: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired are high‑risk states. Addressing basic needs reduces cravings and reactivity.


Dopamine & learning: Substances can hijack the brain’s reward circuitry, pairing relief or euphoria with cues. Over time, the brain can relearn safer rewards through consistent practice (relationships, movement, music, prayer, service).


Belonging beats shame. Community support (12‑step, SMART Recovery, faith groups, therapy) lowers isolation and provides accountability without moralizing.



🤍 For Loved Ones Walking Beside Someone in Recovery


Boundaries = love with a backbone. “I will help with rides to meetings, but I won’t provide money.” Clear, calm, consistent.


CRAFT‑style approach: Notice and reinforce sober/healthy behaviors; disengage from enabling. Invite help, don’t force it.


Language matters: Say “person in recovery” instead of “addict.” It reduces stigma and supports identity change.


Self‑care isn’t selfish: Caregivers burn out. Sleep, hydration, movement, and your own check‑ins are essential.



📝 Reflection Prompts (journal or conversation)


What “monsters” (habits, people, places, stories) do I still invite in?


Where do I feel most alone and what is one connection I can accept this week?


Which boundary would honor my recovery (or my loved one’s) today?


What’s one micro joy I can choose when cravings or sadness rise? 🌤️



🗣️ Mini‑Affirmations (repeat as needed)


I can start again as many times as it takes. 🔁


My worth is not measured by my worst day. 🕊️


I choose people who choose my healing. 🛡️


I am learning to be my own safest place. 🫶



🙏 A Short Prayer for Recovery


God, steady our hands and soften our hearts. For every “no” that saves a life, give courage; for every “yes” to love and truth, give strength. Guard our minds, reshape our desires, send us companions who keep us honest and hopeful. Amen.


📣 Gentle Safety Note


If you or someone you love is in immediate danger, call local emergency services. In the U.S., you can call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. You’re not alone. 💗


💌 Call to Action


If this spoke to you, share one small win from your week in the comments a tiny “no,” a boundary held, a moment of peace. Your story can be someone’s lifeline. ✨




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