Madness, Magic & the Beautiful Mind
- Michele Renee
- Jul 19, 2025
- 4 min read
Updated: Jul 22, 2025
🌀 Life and Living with Crazy Minds, It Really Is Beautiful 🗓️ July 30, 2016
We can be our own worst critic any day of the week Monday through Sunday and every hour in between, if we let ourselves. Why do we choose to place blame and regret on our own shoulders when grace is sitting right there, available too? That haunting phrase, “If only I had done this... If only I had done that,” can spiral us. But here’s the truth: Life wasn’t supposed to turn out that way if it were, it would have. The minute you catch yourself stuck in the “what ifs,” redirect that energy immediately toward “what will be.” 💫
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Here’s a truth bomb: there is not ONE person on this Earth whose happiness depends entirely on me, except me. And there is not one person’s joy that depends on you except you. Yet, we convince ourselves we have that kind of power 😉 like some emotional wizard. “If only my partner, my kids, my parents, my best friend, [INSERT YOUR PERSON HERE] would just be happy...” But honey, that ain’t our job. 💁♀️
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Someone close to me lives with bipolar disorder. And honestly? I think I might too though no licensed doctor has ever put it on paper. Back when I was 15, I was hospitalized and diagnosed with manic depression (which we now call Bipolar Disorder). 😊
I understand this illness like it's family like it raised me, and I’m its golden child.
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Once upon a time, I told myself I wanted a Psychology degree to help others. But you know what I learned? The most powerful way to help anyone is to walk with them while they help themselves. When you do that, something beautiful happens you end up helping yourself too. And after years of walking that walk... I know me. 💛
Bipolar disorder gets a bad rap thanks, media. Every time someone does something “crazy,” the B-word gets tossed around like confetti. People want answers, someone to blame, a “cause” for human behavior especially the messy kind. And let’s be real our healthcare system often treats you based on how much your insurance will pay.
Think about the countless folks who haven’t been diagnosed properly. People aching to feel “normal” who turn to self-medicating, trying to manage their chaos. They make irrational choices and end up labeled “bipolar drug addicts” that society tosses aside. But sometimes... it’s deeper than that.
Yes, some people use their diagnosis as a scapegoat. But the second you let your illness become your crutch you become its puppet. 🪢 The truth? You define your actions. You shape your life. So find help any help. Even just talking to someone who “gets it” can change your direction.
🌗 Bipolar Disorder is all about emotional highs and lows like, INTENSE.
Think of your best day ever. You wake up glowing “dab.” You look amazing “double dab.” Rent’s paid? “DAB.” Front-row parking? “DAB.” Fast checkout line? Triple dab. 🎉 And then people start looking at you like, “I want whatever you’re on...” 😄
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🪩 Today I shall DAB after EVERY accomplishment!
In those moments, you feel INVINCIBLE. Like the world was built just for you.
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👑 “I was put on this earth to RULE THE WORLD”
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Our minds spark like fireworks dripping with wild creativity, passion, vision.
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Sleep? Who needs sleep?! I’ve got 205 projects to finish in 24 hours. 💥
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It’s 5 a.m. and your family is waking up to your shrieks of joy over a sunrise 🌅
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Cute animals? I MUST LOVE THEM ALL. I am ACE VENTURA. 🐾 My heart is gigantic. 💖
Then, the shift...
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Suddenly, everyone and everything is irritating. Your mind is racing, overwhelmed. You know what needs to be done yet you can’t do anything.
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Everything you feel? It’s 100%... always.
😵💫 Paranoia kicks in: “They’re all watching me… judging me.”
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The grape police are here. Yes, I ate grapes. Yes, I saw them texting. Their phone is purple. That cannot be coincidence! 😂
😞 Insignificance settles in…
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Why is no one calling me back? Why do I feel unloved? Invisible? Am I too much? Not enough?
I use humor a lot it’s my way of coping but let’s not downplay this. These lows? They are real. Deep. Dangerous. Suicidal-thoughts-level deep. And we live in a world that makes joy feel so damn hard sometimes.
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And then we’ve got folks out here telling us how to live. What happened to just… accepting people? Accepting differences? Showing respect?
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Sometimes, it’s magical. Two people vibing, seeing the world a little differently laughing, plotting harmless chaos. ☠️💕
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They don’t mean harm. They just mean well, and see life sideways.
Don’t get me wrong bipolar isn’t some glorious circus where you’re always the star performer. But when you find someone who “gets it,” whose world spins at the same speed as yours? It can feel like heaven. Most of the time.
It's like dating Gandhi in the morning…
…and spending the night with Tony Montana. Same soul. Different moods. 🔥
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Let’s talk intimacy. With passion like this, the sex? Out-of-this-world. 🚀 It’s soulful. Raw. Missionary? We don't know her. 😉
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But when the depression comes...
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You can go from “weekend sex olympics” to “Don’t touch me.”
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Suddenly, you’re spiraling: “Do I not turn you on anymore? Am I ugly???” 😭
But truth is it’s not about you. And that’s hard. Rejection feels personal.
But love? Real love remembers the fire it knows how to keep the peach fresh... 🍑
And we hold on to the wild truth:
That even in chaos, passion, silence, noise, mess and magic
❤️ we are beautifully, crazily, fully ALIVE.
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All in all, here’s what matters:
I am blessed.
YOU are blessed.
Count those blessings, baby. TODAY. 🙌
✨ Special thanks to the artists and musicians who unknowingly painted my emotions with your work. Artist supporting artist, always. 💖🎨🎶
🎶 And this old song I hadn’t heard in years… it was once sung to me when I was just 18, young, smitten, and married because my heart said yes. That love faded, but the desire remains I want someone to be a fool for me, unafraid. Because when you’re stripped down, raw, vulnerable… and they still choose you? THAT’S the kind of love worth writing about.
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