Love, Lost in the Silence

When "Us" Slipped Away

We’re nearly twenty years into this. And over the last few, we fell into a quiet pattern one of escalating solitude and growing unfamiliarity. An isolation so silent, it didn’t echo until it broke us. And when it finally did, it shook us both.

We drifted, piece by piece, into our own separate identities—different paths, different dreams. Were we still mostly walking the same road? Or were we just trying so hard to be the person the other needed, that we lost the person we truly are? It’s not quite midlife for us, but let’s be honest we’ve always had to grow up faster than most.

And now… we’ve hit a chapter where we realize: it’s time to do something for ourselves. Because feeling empty for too long? That kind of emptiness can start to make you go a little crazy. When you feel yourself slipping away, no matter your age don’t make a habit of abandoning who you are just to meet someone else’s expectations. That path always leads to regret.

There is only one me in this world, and no one can do “me” better than I can. So why am I not living like it? Loving yourself sometimes means walking away from what no longer brings joy. It’s not selfish it’s survival. Some may see me as the one who gave up, just because I was the one who finally walked out the door. But let’s tell the truth: I didn’t leave three months ago. We left each other a few years ago. Together.

We got married at eighteen—two kids full of hope and big dreams. We struggled. We celebrated. We believed. But somewhere along the way, we the “us” we were got lost.

There comes a point when waiting has to stop. Waiting for what, exactly? The truth is, nothing was coming back to save us. We had to go out and find something for ourselves. So what was the last straw that made me realize I had to go find it—without you? Maybe it was the tears. The quiet heartbreak. The hope that never turned into healing. I’m sorry I had to leave. But what we had at the end wasn’t right. And deep down… I think you know that too. There are too many “why’s” that could keep us spiraling. But I keep looking back thinking about all the moments I sat there, waiting for us. The “us” that never came back. Emotionally, mentally, spiritually… we parted long before we noticed it. And yes, things are clearer now. They usually are when you're no longer in it. My heart still aches for what we once were. But my soul knows we can’t go back. Not to that version of us. The little girl inside me wants to stomp her feet, to scream, to cry, because we lost control of something so beautiful: Our life together. But this wasn’t just my loss. It wasn’t just yours. It was ours. Neither of us stopped to say, “Hey… WE are slipping away.”

The sand thought me one thing: You can't hold on too many things no matter what you do to make them stay, and no matter how much they want to stay. the wind will always blow them away. So learn to let go and choose carefully which you want to stay, because like sand, only those which are in the center of our palm will remain.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7knyJeGzBiY