Life, Is It Fair? How I Love Thee
- Michele Renee
- Jul 22, 2025
- 8 min read
Life, Is It Fair? How I Love Thee September 20, 2016
“Either learn to love thorns or don’t accept any roses.”
NOTHING in life is fair. The quicker we get that straight, the quicker we’ll be on the road to figuring out the greatest version of ourselves we’re willing to become with the right mindset. There’s no comparison to any other soul in this world only to who we were yesterday.
I’ll admit, it’s easier to complain, to blame life, and call it unfair. It saves us from having to take accountability or make changes because when you adopt that belief, you give away your power. But no matter what I believe, or you believe, or anyone else believes, truth is truth. It only wavers in our own minds. Call it old school, but I believe we create our own reality. I also believe God sends us messages constantly every single day.
We get signs in all kinds of ways. Sometimes they come in the form of a literal angel someone who shows up just when we need help. But the key is being ready to receive the message. Sometimes the signs are loud and clear. Other times, the noise of the world drowns them out to a faint whisper… and if you’re not paying attention, they pass you by unnoticed.
📢 PAY ATTENTION.
One day, someone close to me was walking around the house singing while doing chores. What made me laugh was that it was a song I never expected to hear from them definitely not their usual vibe. I actually have it on my own playlist, but this wasn’t a song I thought they'd ever admit to liking. Still, maybe their subconscious was delivering a message for both of us. When they caught themselves, they even said, “Why am I singing this stupid song?”
🌹 More on that in a bit...
There are times when life feels impossible when simply existing feels like a test of survival. We struggle physically, emotionally, spiritually. The people we love and pour into may not return that love. We watch others upgrade their lives while we fight tooth and nail just to cover the basics.
Upbringing & The “Other” Sex
And still, like I always have, I choose to be good not perfect, but just. Temptation knocks constantly, trying to seduce the mind. There are so many vulnerable souls in this world, especially among the elderly. The world is ever-changing, and without the energy or resources to keep up, people fall behind quickly.
As a woman especially one who, in my younger years 😉, had the outer shell to “work it”
I learned early (pre-teen early) that if I looked or acted a certain way, I could manipulate situations. I could get what I desperately needed, while allowing others to believe they were just a little patience away from getting what they wanted. But truthfully, very few people were ever worthy of what they thought they were getting. Control over my body and my choices was often the only power I had.
I was raised in Catholic school. My wild streak was undeniable, but my heart was rooted in faith. I vividly remember the day a sister told us, “Sex is a beautiful thing, created by God for a man and woman to share on their wedding night.” I envisioned my wedding reception, gifts piled high, and the most beautiful golden package God’s gift reserved for that sacred night.
But deep inside, I felt so unworthy. I had already given away my virginity to someone I adored, who didn’t take no for an answer. I felt like I had ruined God’s gift. If I hadn’t been such a thinker, I used to joke, I might’ve been the biggest ho in the city. 😂 But even then, I knew I wanted sex to mean something. I wanted it to be sacred, special, shared with my one and only. So I married young, at 18, believing that commitment made it right.
Dangerous Roads in Love & Marriage
Years later, I learned that couples sometimes take roads together they can never return from roads that change everything. Trust and respect can be lost in a single decision. Often, it’s not even about love or need it’s about the thrill. And we don’t understand what we’ve lost until it’s too late.
I’ve made risky choices, too. I’m open-minded by nature, curious, giving. Sometimes I gave more than I should have not because I wanted to, but because I thought it was what the other person needed. Please, if you care about your relationship, don’t jeopardize it for something temporary. You may spend your whole life wishing you hadn’t.
This world thrives on instant gratification.
And I won’t lie I’ve had more than a few offers to trade my clothes for promises of wealth and security. But I’ve always asked: what would that do to my integrity? I get why prostitution is the “oldest profession.” People crave love, attention, acceptance. But somewhere along the way, we’ve lost the meaning of love and marriage. We recycle partners instead of fixing what’s broken. We forget how precious it is to be chosen.
The world feels desensitized. Shame has taken a back seat. People settle for less, even when the consequences scream louder than the temptation. But we always have a choice. Even when it feels like there’s no other option, there is. Would I really trade my dignity, knowing God is watching, just to put gas in the car? That’s not who I want to be.
Everything is more expensive, except people. People are getting cheaper. ~~~~ Messy and Divine
I’ve made mistakes, plenty. And every single one came with consequences. Still, the more I struggled, the more it felt like others had it easy. I saw people thrive through shady means: drugs, sex work, scamming, kissing up. I worked in welfare fraud and saw firsthand how the poor found clever ways to survive. Desperation is powerful and I understand it all too well.
I’ve stereotyped in the past, but I’ve learned better. I’m practicing better. Whether I win or lose, I fight fair and I fight with heart.
My Personal Struggle
My weakness? Jumping to conclusions. I’m a work in progress, just like you. I get scared. I get triggered. My past creeps up and whispers lies into my current reality. But I keep going.
When times get hard and they do, I see how easily people grow bitter. I think about the sin I’ve let in through anger, resentment, and frustration. Have you ever wondered how you’re going to pay rent? Keep the lights on? Feed your family? When survival mode takes over, the beast comes out. I hate the failure I feel. I hate when faith feels like it’s gone.
But then out of nowhere someone shows kindness. A small gift. A caring gesture. And you remember whose love is always enough: the King of Glory. 💫 Even after all the screaming and pleading, “Why, Lord? Why do I try so hard and still get no break?” He shows up. He reminds me: I’ve got you.
Would your closest friend trade places with you in your hardest moment, if they had the power to? Probably not. But Jesus already did. He carried the cross for you, for me. Still, we have to walk our own journey. Faith isn’t passive. Faith means choosing to believe even when there’s no proof.
Sometimes life gives us lucky breaks. Sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes, we just have to pick up the pieces and begin again.
To My Daughter
I tell Miley the same three things every day: Faith. Hope. Charity.
✨ Faith is believing in something even when you can’t see, touch, or explain it. It’s knowing without doubt that God is with you, even in the darkest times.
✨ Hope is refusing to believe the lie that things can’t get better. It’s trusting that every day is a new opportunity. Don’t just hope, move in hope. Work. Change. Believe.
✨ Charity is love. Give it. Share it. Even when it’s hard. Even to the haters. That’s what makes you different.
On Love & Relationships
Relationships are everything to me especially the ones I share with my kids. I’ve spent years studying people, emotions, and counseling because I believe: Nothing is hopeless if someone cares enough.
Relationships are work. If you think love should just happen easily, you’re already setting yourself up for failure. Love needs time, attention, effort and a willingness to remember what brought you together in the first place.
We forget to do the little things the things we did when we were head-over-heels in love.
Those gestures matter just as much 30 years in as they did in year one.
🧠 COMMUNICATION is key. Know your partner. Meet their needs. Don’t wait to ask what they need start by showing them you care with what you already know.
Real love is about showing up. It’s about creating an environment of trust, appreciation, and emotional safety. If you want to be irreplaceable act like it. Every day.
🎶 "Linger" by The Cranberries
If you, if you could return, don’t let it burn, don’t let it fade.
I’m sure I’m not being rude, but it’s just your attitude,It’s tearing me apart, It’s ruining everything.
I swore, I swore I would be true, and honey, so did you.So why were you holding her hand? Is that the way we stand?Were you lying all the time? Was it just a game to you?
But I’m in so deep. You know I’m such a fool for you.You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha.Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to,Do you have to let it linger?
Oh, I thought the world of you.I thought nothing could go wrong,But I was wrong. I was wrong.If you, if you could get by, trying not to lie,Things wouldn’t be so confused and I wouldn’t feel so used,But you always really knew, I just wanna be with you.
But I’m in so deep. You know I’m such a fool for you.You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha.Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to,Do you have to let it linger?
And I’m in so deep. You know I’m such a fool for you.You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha.Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to,Do you have to let it linger?
You know I’m such a fool for you.You got me wrapped around your finger, ah, ha, ha.Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to,Do you have to let it linger?
Love can make us fools especially after past heartbreak. But real love? That changes everything. There’s no one else I’d want to weather storms with. Not now. Not ever.
Thank you to the one who shares this messy, beautiful life with me. For teaching me the power of undivided attention. For making me feel important. For reminding me to be the best version of myself even when I forget. For loving our children with your whole heart. For noticing all our moods and still showing up.
Thank you for being my partner in crime and my sanity. Even when I’m hiding in my “office” to write, you’re yelling through the door, and somehow, that’s exactly what I need. 😂
You make me feel like a better woman. You call out the best in me. You remind me that I still have so much to give. Our connection? Unmatched. I love that we want to do life together. That’s rare, and it’s ours.
I love you chingos.
Even when I’m stuck doing the dishes. 🍽️💋
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